Possabilities
by Small Lady1
Summary: A Misacentered short story. It has been three years since she gave her life away twice and her heart only once. No matter how hard she looks in the mirror she still cannot see her own expiration date or of his. The uncertainty makes life matter.


**Possabilities**

A Death Note fanfiction

by Small Lady1

No infringement intended, all rights to respective creators.

Whirl.

Whirl.

Whhhhhhhhhhirl.

She stops the spinning of the pills packet with her fingertip. The days are now out of order and if she had not marked it carefully, she would have forgot what day she was on now. The instructions that come enclosed with each month's new supply says to never take two if you miss a day. What happens if you stop taking them altogether. Or decide to go ahead and skip the next month of pills. If the removal of one tiny daily routine could change her life. Day 12. The previous eleven pills are all missing like the good girl she promised Light that she would be.

It has been three years since she gave her life away twice and her heart only once. No matter how hard she looks in the mirror she still cannot see her own expiration date or of his. The uncertainty makes life matter. At least of her time with him. Her career was continuing to flourish and rise as she crossed language boundaries to become an actress in America. That did not matter. Her modeling career was abating just a little now that she was finally beginning to outgrow the Lolita set that her look appealed to. It was just a living anyways. She had told him in private and in public that if he only asked she would give it all up for him. Being gone for months filming made her nauseas so she sometimes would flee for the weekend just to see him. When she got in on a red-eye flight and went straight home, she would hop straight on top of him and try to make him notice her. Ask if he had missed her. She had to see him. It was just too much to be away.

His lovemaking to her was never anything like her love scenes in her movies. She still refused to pretend to have sex with the actor for the camera, it was always a double though her manager had told her that she would lose her career if she would not kiss with tongue. He would not marry her. So she closed her eyes and let her costar take her over for the kiss pretending that it was Light. The Light inside her head always asked.

When he came to bed finally and the rest of the investigators went away, it was then that she seduced him. Sometimes he pushed her away; his head was too full of still fooling everyone. He did not fool her though. They were partners in that way. On the nights in which she won, he would pull at her lingerie and kiss her exposed skin even though his eyes were dark. Even in bed he was calculating and always asking if she had taken her pill. She would nod and raise her arms up so he could pull her gown over her head, but he would move away and grope in his drawer for more protection. He also knew her days. He never forgot anything. But she was keeping count too.

The innocent pills in their little compact glared upwards at her. She could see his face. What would he do if she dared to follow her thoughts? Would he finally break down and love her just as desperately then. Her expectancy numbers were hidden from her and she could no longer throw the rest away so carelessly. She was wanting more from him, more from herself, more to this life in the time she had left. Even if she had started out with the full average lifespan, at her maximum now she knew there may be only twenty years. He would outlive her of course. Why not give him something to remember her by? She was lonely.

In the bedroom, she cautiously opens his drawer and fishes out the remaining ones. Only three, hopefully he will not notice since the drawer is opened so seldomly. Tonight she is going to beg. If she is loud and bothersome enough, he will give in just to quiet her. Besides, she really likes the startled look on his face when he finishes and falls heavily onto her. The surprise that anything so human and alive could make him feel. He says he is cleansing the world of evil, but all she wants is him low in her belly. The world was safer than when they were growing up. It was time for some innocence to enjoy their hard work.

She returns to her pills and pushes the pill downwards till the foil breaks and it drops into her palm. A final look and the possibilities that can open up with this pill skipped... She drops it down the drain and washes it away.


End file.
